What was your worst experience in middle school or high school? Did it have a lasting effect on you? Do you think you learned anything positive from it?
Most of my entire middle school experience was hell. A group of awful and cruel girls picked on me and seemed determined to make me miserable everyday of my life. It worked. I HATED going to school most the time. Looking back I know these girls hated me cause they were jealous and cause I was not the same as them. I didn't cuss and smoke and run wild...I was the good girl. Also my BFF at the time joined up in their group and started to be like them, yet she and I stayed close somehow..they hated it that she and I were so close but I was not like them and didnt become like them and hang with their "bad news" group.
It didnt help when I decided to cut all my hair off in a "boy style" girl cut. I blame my mom to this day for allowing me to do it >.< Arrhhg. Already picked on + Bad hair cut = Please shoot me. I remember even once getting cornered in a hallway by these girls (who were twins..so it was like Double Evil) and cussed out and called names..while my BFF just stood there beside them..just staring. I'll never forget how I kept looking at her for support...just looking in her eyes and searching them for the person I had called my best friend since I was 8 years old. That person had slipped away somewhere...slipped away under the horrible influence of these girls...and neglectful parents whose neglect was steering her in the wrong direction *sigh*. It was not long after that we started to drift apart..as hard as I tried she was changing and our lives were taking different paths.
Anyway, I digress...Haha.
Good thing is that high school was a total different experience. I had tons of friends, was fairly popular, in all the school plays, got along with everyone and had no enemies, even had a long term boyfriend through high school. These same girls would pass me in the halls and I would boldly stare them right in the eyes and THEY would look away...would not even meet my eyes. See, after making my life hell they were now the unpopular ones....Karma?
Did it have a lasting effect on me? It sure did..I think I have always struggled with insecurity since those years. Other things factor into my insecurity issues as well but I know those years played a big role in it too. I was so picked on and made fun of that even once I reached a point in my life where I started being told I was so pretty and "beautiful" and things like that...it never sinks in, some people don't get it and act like I must be nuts for not seeing it. I always feel not good enough though and like people are looking at me and thinking bad things. Im very sensitive when it comes to anything about the way I look.
I did learn from it too as well though. I really did, a part of me embraces those experiences cause they did help mold me. Sure they caused some insecurities naturally..yet I think they did more good in the end than bad. It taught me to care about peoples feelings...despite what I say or feel about them behind closed doors I will never sit there and try and hurt them and say cruel things. I have to be pushed VERY hard to get to a point where I will tell someone to their face what I really think of them...not because Im "afraid" but because it normally just makes me uncomfortable, I dont wanna be the one hurting someone with cruel words. If im saying things to your face that are negative...well then you have REALLY pushed me to that point and upset me. Cause in general I am a very sweet and caring person. Like...do I think, say, Britney Spears is very untalented, nasty, and just UHG? Yes I do. Would I say this to her face? No, of course not..cause I would not wanna be mean...im just not that type of person. The whole "say what you think to my face, not behind my back" thing? Well...I think that some things are better not said to people... when its not nesassry. Sometimes it is.
So yeah..middle school= HELL....high school= 4 wonderful years of life
Was damaged alot..learned alot...bloomed alot...and in the end it all helped mold me. I may be pretty rough around some edges and could use some improvement in certain areas..I may have my flaws and weaknesses, but I like to think I turned out okay...even good :)